FAKE NAILS

Yup, I get my nails done every 2-3 weeks, depending on how many dishes I've had to do and how many times the floor has to be scrubbed.  (LOL!)  And let me tell you something... nails are one of my least favorite high maintenance things to do.

The minute I walk into the nail salon, I feel like a kindergartner again.  The first question is always, "What color do you want?"  And, as if I were a kindergartner who did not know my colors yet, this exchange goes something like this: Me- "Red", Nail tech.- "NO!  You don't want that color!!  That color will not look right!  You want PURPLE!".
At this point I just want to say, "Really?!".  I mean aren't they my nails and my money?  I don't get it.

And the bossiness does not stop there.  Oh no.  During my last visit, I pointed out to the nail technician that I had another salon do my nails because their business had a sign posted that they were closed for an emergency.  I tell her this, because it really pisses these people off if they know you have not been back for a while.  They will demand to know where you went to betray them.  So I am expecting a response along the lines of, "Oh I am so sorry we were closed.".  Nope.  I get, "Where did you go?!?!  Who did them?!?!  Well, they did a very bad job!!  You went to the wrong place!!!!!".  Are you kidding me?!  My response at that point was, "Perhaps you should have posted the appropriate place to go in case of emergency".  GOOD GOD!

The other thing that really pisses these people off is if you give them a time limit.  I often try to get my nails done on a lunch break from work so that I don't have to drive into town on my day off and juggle Sammy.  So I tell them I have an hour.  Well... then I get an eye roll, a hostile look at the clock, and a verbal berating directed at the neighboring nail tech as if I don't know she's calling me a stupid witch in her native tongue.  I mean, it's an HOUR!  It's not like doing nails is rocket science.

My friend recenty took her daughter to get pedicures.  At some point in the process, the nail tech asks if this is, indeed, her daughter.  When given an afiirmative answer, the nail tech proceeds to register astonishment and state that they do not look at alike because the daughter does not have a big nose!  WHAT?!?!  That nail tech is very fortunate Caroline Jones was not in that chair because the chair would have made its way up her patootie;)