Kids Say the Darndest Things

My kids are water bugs in the summer. As a result, you can find us every day at the local pool. Lexi is in that pool the entire time. Her only breaks are the required lifeguard ones. She jumps off the diving board, dives under the water with her goggles on to find lost treasures (usually a used band-aid), and splashes her little brother as much as humanly possible. Sammy dominates the baby pool and will even get in the shallow end of the big pool so that he can have a better vantage point of the pretty lifeguards (you think I'm kidding, but I am not).

Recently, we had quite the day at the pool. We grabbed a bite to eat and then Lexi announced she was going to change into her swimsuit. She quickly returned and then started frantically digging around in her bag. "What are you looking for?", I asked. "Well... It looks like I dropped my underwear!", she replied. "What?!", I exclaimed! Lexi then ran off toward the golf carts only to return with her underwear in hand saying, " Yep, dropped em by the golf carts,". "Nice", I replied, as I slowly put on my sunglasses and sunk lower in my chair.

Not to be easily scared off, I led my two precious babes to the pool. Lexi promptly jumped in the pool and was off to happy land. However, Sammy was a little slower to dominate the baby pool. So he decided to hang with me for a while and soak up the sun.
Much to my chagrin, I had a rare instance of feeling like I might need to "toot", as Lexi calls it. So I just quietly did, forgetting that my loud 2 year old was on my lap. Next thing I know, Sammy yells, "You farted mommy?!?!".

Now, I'm no Molly Manners, but this is just too much. The pack of pretentious teenagers are now laughing hysterically, and the mom sitting next to me is pretending to internet surf while she is texting her BFF about me.

So, I decide to go in to the snack bar to enjoy some healing chocolate since I already had my healthy Body By Vi shake!! Luckily I ran in to my friend and had a nice conversation about summer plans and lessons... wait a minute! We're late for cooking lessons! I holler to Lexi to get out of the pool because we're late. She yells back, "We're always late because you spend too much time on your makeup, mommy!!!".

Maybe next time I'll send the kids to the pool with a babysitter while I get a massage. "Sigh".