St. Patrick's Day

Aw, St. Patrick's Day!  That time honored tradition of honoring our Irish roots by drinking green beer, eating corned beef and cabbage, and dancing the Irish Two Step.

I'm German.  Almost 100% Kraut.  Beer makes me bloated.  I can't dance.  Corned beef and cabbage are the foods of fat and happy Kings, though, and I will be fat and happy too cause I love 'em both.

Despite the fact that I am not Irish in the least, I am Lutheran.  Therefore, I do believe Saint Patrick would have been cool with me.

Growing up, though, St. Patrick's Day scared me.  I still remember those years I forgot to wear green.  I would walk around with my head hung down in shame and swear to the mean boy sitting next to me that I was wearing green underwear.   And I wasn't even that afraid of getting pinched.  It was the whole, "I am a social idiot today".  "I can't even get it together long enough to even put on a stupid green shamrock pin."  The walk of shame was an all day ordeal.

Today I am wearing green.  I even have on these sweet, glittery shamrock earrings from Claire's.  And you can bet your bippy that both of my children are wearing green.  No child of mine will endure the St. Patrick's Day Walk of Shame.  That will be my legacy.

The best thing about St. Patrick's Day as an adult is the fact that you are allowed to act like an idiot for no other reason than the fact that the Irish know how to party and they want us all to join in on the fun. And it's a great excuse to spend money at Party City, or the City of Doom as I like to call it.  That's because of the ridiculously loud and horrible music and the small, scary aisles covered in cheap, plastic crap.

I do hope that everyone, no matter their background or religious beliefs, will take time today to thank the Irish for making such a cool day filled with the magic of leprechauns, pots of gold, and rainbows the size of Ireland itself.

Tonight, my friends, me and my family are headed down the road to our area's new pizza joint.  Once there, we will delight in dining on Reuben Pizza and taking in the sights and sounds of small town life.  I might even risk the bloat and have a green beer, because St. Patrick's Day only comes once a year and, after all, I AM wearing green.

Thursdays

Thursdays are my favorite day of the week.  It's not yet Friday, but the anticipation of Friday is there.  The greater part of the work week is behind me.  The promise of the weekend and time with friends and family is fast approaching.

This Thursday I am reading, "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford.  As I am reading, it strikes me that I started the book on Sunday and yet today the words have even more light and meaning.  My mindset is lighter and more focused on possibility, which makes the words jump.  It never ceases to amaze me how much mindset really does determine experience.

I have some really cool excerpts to share from the book, but first I have to crack some jokes because that is just who I am.  The other day I was feeling pretty crabby and the thought struck me, "Why doesn't someone come up with a brain thermostat?".  I mean really, how much money would that make a person? You're sitting around feeling crabby because you didn't sleep very well and your iPhone screen just shattered (true story), and you think, "well this crabby mood is just unacceptable", so you open your brain and turn the thermostat from crabby to happy!  Just think how much that invention would save on medical bills, prescription drugs, illegal drugs... well you get the point.  Too easy you say?  Probably...damn it!

Instead of trying to change it or turn up the thermostat so to speak, Debbie Ford writes about embracing the crabbiness, or the "shadow" side of us.  Because she says, "We can't have the full experience of the light without knowing the dark".  Debbie states that doing shadow work and embracing our whole self ends our suffering.

I could go on an on quoting Debbie's book, but I think it's better if you hear it from her.  From my perspective and experience, though, I can tell you that I find Debbie's "take" very true.  I still have a lot of shadow to embrace and I will always be a work in progress.  At the same time, the shadow I have embraced has served me well.  The side to me that is loud and gregarious and irreverent, when embraced, is a gift of humor and "refreshing honesty" to those who are open.  Those who do not choose to view my shadow as a gift judge it as "attention -seeking and obnoxious" and secretly wonder why in the hell I would put myself out there like that for the whole world to see.

But my truth is my light AND my shadow and when combined are ME.  And let me tell you, folks... I am having a hell of a lot more fun in my life than those who are choosing to hide in fear and judgement.  And with that being said, judge it without judgement and live your life as only you can.

  

Pinterest Obsessions

Pinterest has officially become an obsession of mine.  I know Pinterest is not new and I know I am not the only addict, so let's all laugh a bit about the Pinterest world!

First of all, it is no secret I love fashion.  I have spotted some really cool outfit ideas on Pinterest, and am especially fond of the shoes pinned there.  But, I have to laugh when I see some outfits pinned with "Love This!" in the comment section.  I'm thinking, "Really?  You love the skin tight cheetah jumpsuit because it's on a 100 lb. 16 year old!".  I'm pretty sure that if us "normal" women put that outfit on, most of us would look like a sad version of Chester Cheetah on Halloween.

I've also noticed I have an automatic aversion to certain pins.  For instance, the baby shower ideas I do not care for.  Yes, they're darling and fun and creative.  However, having had two precious children myself, I have come to enjoy the full night's sleep and the moments of "me time" I get now that my youngest is three years of age.  And for some reason I have this fear that if I pin that cute baby shower idea, I will instantly be pregnant via immaculate conception.

Then there's my competitive side.  I have to constantly remind myself that I joined Pinterest for ideas, not followers...Good God!  Why, I ask you, must everything be a competition with followers??  Why can't I just pin and then call it a night?  I really think that instead of "followers", there should be Pinterest Police monitoring the site after 10 pm, scouring for women like me who have had too many glasses of wine and are now obsessively pinning Someecards and posting them to Facebook.

On the up side, I have to say that those "Hey Girl", Ryan Gosling quotes are just what the doctor ordered for Pinterest.  Those are simply brilliant.  My favorite is: "Hey girl.  No, I didn't fall asleep while you were describing your upcoming sewing and craft projects.  I just closed my eyes to visualize them better.  They look amazing."

Random Thoughts

Being the outgoing, busy, working mama that I am, I have many random thoughts that run through my head on any given day.

Case in point:
I am working out in my home the other day and I decide to do some plank exercises.  Since the birth of my two children, these exercises have become much harder for me than they used to be.  Therefore, I am sweating and grunting and trying to think happy thoughts and all of a sudden I notice a stain on the floor.  Then I am thinking, I would much rather be cleaning that stain off the floor than staying in this plank position.  Then I picture my conversation with my good friend, Ashlee (ahem, personal trainer), during which I say, "You know that moment when you notice the stain on the floor and you decide to clean it instead of finishing your plank exercise?"  "No?  Hmmmmmmm."

Or:
I love hair and makeup and bling and clothes and I've wanted to learn how to get that perfect beach wave hair look everyone raves about, right?  Even though I know that if I were actually on a beach, my hair would be stuck flat to my head.  But that's beside the point.  So I decide to start watching hair tutorials on how to get the perfect beach wave hair.  Now here's the thing, though, with hair tutorials... hair tutorials are not rocket science.  But these girls who do these hair tutorials must think they are.  Inevitably, they start with a casual but friendly, "Hi guys!".  And then they tell you how "super easy" their look is going to be.  And then they spend 45 minutes showing you in intricate detail how to do the same curl over and over again.  And then I think they sit around their house wondering why they haven't made a fortune yet- I don't know.

And:
I find a friend's video link for a new handy dandy tool their family member invented.  And because I love this friend, I click on the link.  And then I spend the next 10 minutes wondering what in God's name he is doing and why I thought this would be a good idea for me to watch since I don't ever fix anything- ever.  I can't even figure out how to put my son's train set together. 

Finally:
I am looking at my darling toddler son's face the other day and I am in awe of how so very cool he is and yet how so very annoying at any given moment.  And so I came up with the following...

T errific but terrifying
O dd yet quite inspiring
D aring while on the potty
D arling but quite, quite naughty
L oud and always mortifying
E lectric and too often crying, BUT forever, forever
R are and beatifying

Come on now, girlfriend!

When will we, as women, learn to love ourselves and give up the idea of perfection?

I am all for self-improvement.  I am a mental health therapist for God sake!  To those of us who want to get in better shape and fit in to last year's dress- more power to us all!  But, for those of us that want to be skeletal and unhealthy- Come on now girlfriend!

It's no secret I love fitness.  I drink my shakes, I work out, and I try not to eat the entire restaurant when I go out.  At the same time, I want to be healthy, happy, and minimize the amount of fat I am carrying around.  I think these are all realistic goals.  I don't have a problem with these goals. I do have a problem with goals that amount to unhealthy living, both physically and mentally.

I am of a certain age where it really does seem to get harder to stay within a healthy body mass index.  Whereas I could eat pretty unhealthy, work out, and still fit in my skinny jeans 10 years ago, I now have to make better food choices while working out in order to fit in to my skinny jeans.  And this is not really a bad thing because in the process I am making my insides healthier too.  Most of my friends are of a certain age as well, so this topic of body image tends to crop up frequently.  And I don't mind it when we can stay within the healthy, realistic realm.  But when conversation goes beyond this, I find myself getting angry.

I am not necessarily angry at the person I am talking to... I am angry that we as women still put most of our value in a number on a scale.  I am including myself in this, by the way, because I have my bad days too.  And on these bad days I can be one bad picture, one rude comment, or one accidental step on the scale away from hysteria.  AND WHY???

Because, you see, when one of my girlfriends or family members starts devaluing themselves, I am not far behind.  We women want to blame men and society and blah, blah, blah, when we are doing it to each other!  Last poll I checked, men like their women with curves.  Last advertisement I checked, Dove is leading the way in normalizing curvy women.  Now granted, we as a society have a ways to go but think about the last time you felt bad about your body and I bet it will be a conversation, comment, or look from another woman.  Come on now, girlfriend!  Love yourself first.  The rest will come.  Spend the energy you currently do on those last 10 pounds on loving yourself, living life, and giving back.  The rest will come.

What about the amazing, loving mother you are?  And the sexy wife your husband loves?  What about how you work your ass off to clean your house, cook a meal, or bring home the second income?  What do any of those things have to do with being a size 2?!

Health and happiness go hand in hand.  A healthy body can fall within or just outside of a healthy Body Mass Index range of numbers.

Come on girlfriend!  Together we can be happier women, I promise!

The "Not So Good Wife" needs to get in line.

I'm sure Sarah Paley thought making fun of Nebraska was a fun and original idea.  Fun? Eh.  Original?  Epic fail.

Sarah, honey, get in line.  If I had a dollar for every comedian who called us hearty pioneers who are corn fed, Runza loving, football fanatical, freaks of nature, I would be richer than Warren Buffett.

Yes, I get it.  You are doing the whole, "I'll make fun of myself so I can make fun of you" thing.  Preach to the choir, girlfriend.  See, the problem is, us Nebraskans aren't only guiltless and hearty.  We are also heartless and do not gladly suffer fools.  You know the painting, "American Gothic"?  Picture that image as our collective response to your article.

Now I could go on and on about how arrogant and condescending your article was, but that would be as boring as reading it.  Instead, I have a list of must-see attractions for your next visit to our great state.

1.  For Pantsuits: ???????? No clue, Sarah.  I go for jeans, skirts and killer heels.  Posh and Precious in Aurora, Nebraska, and Stefanie's Closet and Strut in G.I., Nebraska to name a few.  Or see my friend, Melissa Griffith, at Conestoga Mall and get ready for the shopping adventure of your life.

2. For Pearls: SouthSeaPearl.com.  Kerri Kliewer is a fabulous jeweler from Henderson, Nebraska who can rock a string of pearls.

3. For Flag Pins: Are you sure you weren't at Bingo night at the local Vets Club?  (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

4. For People Cancelling a Social Event: You speaking at the next Nebraska Bowhunters Association event.

5. For Pop: Farmers Daughter and Sin City are a few of my fave restaurants in Grand Island, Nebraska where the food and POP, POP, POP, POP, POP are fantastic!

6. For Sacks: There is a Doctor Johns that will hide your latest sex emporium purchase in a Sack.

7.  For Hunting Adventures: Call up Doc V or Doc J from Docs Wildlife Blends.  They'll be happy to show you what you are missing.  Then take your trophy to Osage Taxidermy in Hastings, Nebraska to show all your friends.

8. For Hearty Pioneers: If you're wanting to see actual pioneer garb and covered wagons, check out Stuhr Museum or the Great Platte River Road Archway.  But if you want to see a modern day Nebraska woman you can write home about, go to the Platte River on a summer day and witness the kind of redneck fun fest your type could not handle.

9.  For Billfolds: Well, better start saving up because Nebraska billfolds may get harder to find.

10. For Hysteria, Tantrums, or Sulking: You would be better off staying in Manhattan because us guiltless, hearty, "Little Engines That Could" Nebraskans simply don't behave that way.

My chic lodge (For Larissa)

When I met Tim, I fell hard and fast... in love as well as in to country living!

Well O.K., I did live on a farm for about two years when I was really little, but all I remember about that is a big mean rooster who chased me until my dad butchered him.  As a result, falling in love with a country boy was a big leap of faith.  And it didn't take long for me to figure out that in order to actually spend time with the man of my dreams, I would have to learn to hunt.

My first hunting trip was across his dad's meadow to the huge carpeted and heated deer stand Tim and his dad built. JUST MY STYLE! We tip-toed past the buffalo (yes, buffalo) to the stand and settled in for an exciting deer hunting adventure.
Four hours and a nap later, there were no deer to be seen.
Turns out raising buffalo and keeping deer on your land do not necessarily go hand in hand.  But, I will never forget the feeling of comraderie and adventure sitting in that stand.

Fast forward a few years and even more hours of spotting that hundreth doe, that millionth fawn, and many, many small bucks, and I was beginning to think hunting was for the birds.  Makes a good visual, right?
Until I spotted that first nice buck!  I was in our deer stand behind our house on the river with my husband.  We were whispering (just like those guys on the hunting shows, mind you) and a broad 5 by 5 buck came out of the island on the river.  Holy Buck!!!  I quickly positioned my rifle while my husband whispered orders at me.  "Hold your rifle against your shoulder... aim just behind his front leg... DON'T MISS!!!".

I missed.

"$#@*!"

Are you kidding me?  Years of sitting in those stands while I would rather be shopping and I miss?!?!
My ego was bruised, right along with my shoulder.

Since that fateful day, I have wondered how many high maintenance girls would have just given up and gone back to full time shopping.  I bet quite a few... but not this one!

Fast forward a few more years and I am in the deer stand with my father-in-law.  We aren't in that glorious tree stand of his though because we still have buffalo!  We are in that same stand behind our house where I missed that buck.  So my father-in-law and me are whispering (just like those guys on the hunting shows, mind you) and the morning is slipping away quickly because he is telling me about how screwed up the world is:)  I am just about to throw in the towel, when Mike whispers with great enthusiasm, "BUCK!".  Now how he spotted that buck is beyond me because that 5 by 7 buck was standing perfectly still in tall weeds about 40 yards away.  I can guarantee you that had I been hunting alone that day, I wouldn't have seen him in a million years.  My heart is pounding and visions of missing that first buck are floating through my brain.  I hold my breath, aim my rifle, and "BOOM!".  Oh my gosh!  Did I shoot?  Did Mike shoot?  Where's the deer?!
So I yell, "Did you shoot, MIke?!" 
He said, "No I didn't shoot-you shot!!!" 
"I did?!?!"
"Damn right you did!!!"
"Where is he?!?!"
"He's right there!"
"Is he dead?!"
"Yes!  He's deader than $%!&!"
"Woo Hoo!", I yelled.

WHAT A RUSH!!!  Mike told me later on he thought I might just jump right out of that deer stand.  He also said that had I not shot in a few more seconds, he was going to! 

From that day forward, I was hooked!  I went from High Maintenance Huntress Wanna Be to High Maintenance Huntress!!

I have harvested more bucks, an elk, and a turkey since that day and Tim has harvested many deer, elk, turkey, wild boars, and I could go on and on.  As a result, I have a house that a friend of mine, Larissa Schuele coined, "The Chic Hunting Lodge".  It is a cool mix of hunting trophies and high maintenance decor, if I do say so myself!

Thanks, Larissa, for the blog suggestion, and stay tuned for more hunting adventures!  Trust me, you will not be disappointed!